Understanding the psycho-emotional experience of farm families facing tough economic times is a major component in effective counseling and problem solving with them. As described in the preceding article, Signs of Stress in Farm Families, distressed farm families may not be functioning at their best and yet they are in a position of having to make significant decisions. This section will discuss helping skills that can facilitate your work with distressed clients.

A helpful way of approaching work with a distressed client is to use a three step helping model as a general guide (Egan, 1982; Schlossberg, 1984).

Step 1: Explore the problem situation with client. In this step of the helping model the agent helps the client to explore the situation more fully. Listening, respect and empathy are key helping skills that allow the client to talk about the problem situation with the agent.

Step 2: Developing a clearer understanding. Through information gathered in the first step of the helping model the agent can help the client see the larger picture. During this step resources and alternatives are identified. Clarification, being concrete and genuine are important to developing a clearer understanding of the situation.

Step 3: Facilitating action. The agent works with the client to develop an action plan or problem solving strategy based on the exploration and understanding of the problem.

ESSENTIAL HELPING SKILLS: ATTITUDES OF THE HELPER

Empathy, respect, and warmth have been found to be the most essential skills in an effective helping relationship (Egan, 1976, 1982). They are particularly important when working with distressed farm families, because they build trust, diffuse some anxiety and isolation, and kindle hope. Without them it may be difficult to effectively problem solve.

Empathy is the ability to understand the experiences, thoughts, and feelings of another. That is, to be able to see the situation from the other's view point. The second component of empathy is communicating to the person that you understand what they are saying.

Respect is an attitude that encompasses belief in the ability of the client to deal with the problem. It is an attitude of belief in the dignity and worth of the individual that includes acceptance and non-judgment. Respect for the person is essential and possible regardless of whether or not the helper agrees with the action, ideas, or values of the client. Respect can be actualized through a non-judgmental attitude, confidentiality, and through actions which communicate that the person and his or her problem is important and deserving of your time and energy.

Warmth is a quality that represents friendliness, caring, and consideration. Nonverbal behaviors like eye contact, smiling, voice tone, touch, offering a chair or a cup of coffee express warmth.

Helping the client become clear and specific about the problem is an essential problem solving tool. Concreteness enables the helper to assist the client in moving toward problem solving. This helps the person develop a clearer picture of the pieces that make up the problem or concern. Helping the client not to ramble and to focus on the problem is also a good way to develop a more specific and clear definition of the problem. Asking, "how", "what", and "when" questions are ways of gathering information as you work to increase understanding of the problem (Smith, 1986).

The essential helping skills of empathy, warmth, respect, genuineness, and concreteness are operationalized through positive attending behaviors and through reflective listening. Together positive attending behaviors and reflective listening facilitate helping relationships that will hopefully lead to the development of an action plan for solving the presenting problem.

ESSENTIAL HELPING SKILLS: BEHAVIORS OF THE HELPER

Positive attending behaviors are important because they indicate interest, respect, and concern for what the client is saying. Behaviors that communicate attention and interest are (Egan, 1976, 1982):

1. Facing the person

2. Adopting an open posture

3. Slightly leaning toward the person

4. Good eye contact and sensitivity to client's need for "privacy"

5. Being fairly relaxed

In addition, positive attending behaviors nonverbally offer a genuine invitation to explore the problem. Positive attending behaviors are the nonverbal components of reflective listening.

Reflective listening involves listening for the meaning and feelings being expressed by the client and feeding back to them what you are hearing them say. The components of the process of reflective listening include:

1. Positive attending behaviors

2. Putting aside your own thoughts and opinions while listening

3. Empathy, respect, and warmth

4. Listening to understand what the individual is communicating

5. Sensitivity to nonverbal behaviors

6. Providing feedback

Reflective listening is especially helpful when interacting with someone who is emotionally upset. It is a definite way of letting the person know that he/she is being understood and cared about. This helps to relieve tension, fear, and isolation, builds trust, and eventually helps move the client to the problem solving stage.

EXAMPLE: A farmer is coming in to talk with the county agent about his/her financial problems resulting from a drought.

AGENT: "Hey come on in! Good to see you. How about some coffee."

FARMER: "Sounds great."

AGENT: "Have a seat. Let me shut my door. Listen, we have a computer program that I think can really help our farmers take a look at their financial situation and make some good management decisions. Thought you might be interested."

FARMER: "Hmm"

AGENT: "We've got a computer program that will analyze some of the data from your operation. We can use that analysis to develop a sound financial plan. What do you think?"

FARMER: "Boy, I've had it! First there's been no rain, the combine broke down, and the bank is threatening to call in my loan. And now you want me to go through all this paper work for your computer program!"

AGENT: "Sounds like you're really frustrated and you've just about had it with all this added pressure. This management program feels like one more thing to deal with."

FARMER: "Yeah, I do feel frustrated and sure have been under a lot of pressure. Sure wish I could get a handle on what's going on--especially with the bank. That's what's really got me hog tied.."

AGENT: "Wow, there is a lot going on to put pressure on you. Is it the loan situation that you're most concerned about?"

FARMER: "Yeah, you got it!"

FARMER: "Well, you know working through this management program just might help you tackle the bank situation. I'll be glad to help. How about it?"

FARMER: "Oh, yeah? Hmm. Well, OK, let's get started and see what we can come up with. Sure hope it's something workable.

The agent in this example is using good attending behaviors: reflective listening and other essential helping skills. Can you identify empathy, warmth, respect, and concreteness in this example? Can you identify any of the steps of the helping model?

DEALING WITH FEELINGS

Feelings of frustration, inadequacy, and lowered self-esteem can easily lead to feelings of anger. It is not unusual for individuals in crisis or under a great deal of stress to feel angry and to direct this anger at others such as family members, agents, or lenders. When dealing with an individual in crisis it is important to remember that this anger is not really directed at you but is a result of other unpleasant feelings experienced by the client. Below are several suggestions on responding to someone who is angry (Gazda, Asbury, Balzer, Childers, & Walters, 1984):

1. Know and understand your own responses to anger.

2. Remember that anger is a response to other feelings.

3. Allow the angry person to talk it out.

4. Respond to the angry person's feelings.

5. Communicate understanding and concern.

6. Look for something that you can compliment the other person on.

7. Use reflective listening. It is very effective in diffusing anger.

Blaming of self and others occurs primarily during the depression and detachment phase of the grief cycle. Blaming is a response to loss or crisis and is an attempt to make sense of a painful situation. Somehow, if someone or something can be blamed for causing the problem, a sense of false control is attained. Blaming, however, is detrimental to self and to others.

Self-blame entails feelings of guilt and failure. If these feelings are extremely intense and persist over a long period of time they can lead to deep depression and even suicide. Self-blame makes it difficult to see alternatives and to believe that the problem is solvable. If you are working with a farmer who is self-blaming you can try some of the following to help decrease self-blaming (Molgaard, 1985a):

1. Listen supportively (reflective listening)

2. Remind the client about factors beyond personal control that helped create the agricultural crisis (interest rates, weather, etc.).

3. Remind the person that "to err is human."

4. Look for strengths, successes, and examples of good decisions and share these observations.

5. Help the client to see that the future of the farm is separate from the future of him/herself as a human person and from that of the family.

6. Very importantly, work through your own thoughts.

7. Indicate that you don't blame the client.

There may be things that the client could have done differently, but the current need is to find solutions to the problems. "What if's," "Why me's," and "If only's" only hurt. If the client cannot think beyond these ideas, he or she may not be ready to look at solutions.

Some individuals in their desperation will focus blame outwardly. Blaming of lenders, agents, and family members is not helpful in the long run because it prevents any real problem solving and disrupts relationships. Some of the following suggestions may be helpful when interacting with a blamer:

1. Acknowledge hearing the client's viewpoint.

2. Listen for underlying feelings such as anger, hurt, frustration and use reflective listening to communicate understanding.

3. Share information concerning the factors that have come together to create a national agricultural crisis.

4. Avoid being pulled into a defensive stance.

5. Direct discussion to the specific problem at hand and help the client to see that blaming others won't help solve his/her situation.

SOLVING THE PROBLEM

The primary goal is to help farm families effectively problem solve with respect to their farming operation. Using essential helping skills as you work a farmer through the program will increase the probability of designing an effective action plan to met the particular needs of a client.

As you work to problem solve with farm families you may want to keep the following points in mind:

1. Encourage identification of realistic goals based on client values, talents, and needs.

2. Consider a wide range of alternative action plans.

3. Carefully consider and develop understanding of the implications and consequences of each alternative action plan with the client.

4. Consider the pros and cons of each alternative plan.

5. Encourage development of a step by step implementation process for the action plans under consideration.

6. Use your helping skills as the client determines the most appropriate action plan.

7. Help the client, where possible, to make connections necessary to implement the steps in the action plan.

WORKING WITH DEPRESSED OR SUICIDAL CLIENTS

Depression is a familiar experience to most of us. It is often a response to losses of many different natures. Loss of a farm, loss of self-esteem, or loss of a dream are a few examples of experiences which could cause depression. If the symptoms described in the previous article persist for more than two weeks it is important that the depressed person see a mental health professional.

Be aware that depressed clients may not be psychologically able to respond as quickly and effectively as we would expect. This may require patience from you as well as supportive questions on your part. Below are some pointers for offering support to a depressed client:

1. Be a good listener.

2. Encourage the person to talk about his or her feelings.

3. Let the person know that you care and are concerned about what he or she is saying, thinking, and feeling.

4. Don't moralize and pressure him or her to "put a smile on" or to "snap out of it." This will only make the person feel worse.

5. Encourage activity such as walking, riding, jogging, listening to music, or sharing a pot of coffee with you.

6. Encourage accomplishments by helping him or her set small goals that have immediate success. Examples of such goals are cleaning the kitchen, making a meal, or changing the oil in the car.

7. Be available and let the person know that when he or she needs you, you'll be there.

8. Be a resource. Your friend may be so depressed that the help and support of a professional may be what is needed. You can help by knowing where he or she can find a good therapist and by offering to go along on the first visit.

Perhaps one of the most frightening responses to crisis and depression is suicide. Suicide is a serious possibility for someone who is experiencing a crisis, is in the midst of disorganization and disequilibrium, and is severely depressed. Refer to the previous article for signs of potential suicide.

There are several myths about suicide that can prevent helpful intervention by others. The first myth suggests that people who talk about suicide will not kill themselves. This is absolutely false. Almost everyone who has killed themselves has talked about it is some way. The second myth suggests that bringing up the topic of suicide with someone will give him/her the idea or grant permission for suicide. In fact, checking out the suicidal feelings and thoughts of another is a good preventive step. It communicates concern and decreases the isolation and fear experienced by the suicidal person. It provides an opportunity to explore further and to get additional help. Below are several pointers for assisting someone who you think may be suicidal:

1. Take warning signs seriously.

2. Let the person know your concern.

3. Stay calm and simply listen.

4. You can't make someone choose life but you can give support and offer alternatives.

5. Remind the person that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

6. Reassure the person that many think about suicide but never actually attempt it.

7. Encourage the person to seek help and offer to help them make the connection.

8. Know the services available in your community: emergency mental health facility, psychologists and counselors, crisis lines

9. You may want to contact a mental health professional and determine a plan of action.

10. You may want to contact immediate relatives to express your concern.

11. If suicide seems imminent contact the police and don't leave the person alone.

ENCOURAGING A CLIENT TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP

Individuals in crisis need support and caring beyond the assistance given by agents and other informal supporters. Encouraging someone to seek professional help may not be easy but it is important. You may feel uncomfortable talking with him or her about a personal problem. Is it really your business? Is the problem really that serious? The client may become defensive when you bring up the problem. He or she may feel that you're intruding--that you're violating personal privacy. Or your client may want help but be hesitant to seek professional help. This may be especially true if he/she is self-reliant or has never been to a counselor before. He or she may feel seeking professional help is a sign of weakness, not strength. While these issues may create discomfort for you, realize that your encouragement is important because without support the person may never seek the help that is needed.

Following are several pointers to help you confront someone you are concerned about and encourage him or her to seek professional help:

1. Plan a Caring "Conference": If possible, try to talk with the client when neither of you is rushed or distracted. Use phrases such as, "I've been worried about you..." or "I'm bringing this up because I really care about you..."

2. Protect Privacy: Find private space and make sure there are no interruptions while you are talking. Close the office door, hold your calls, etc. Sensitivity to your client's privacy communicates trust, respect, and security.

3. Discuss Specific Behaviors: Prior to the caring meeting, list the behaviors you've seen exhibited that concern you. Your list might include withdrawal, anger, self-destructive actions, depression, looking tired and gaunt, or weight loss. During the meeting, discuss these specific behaviors in a caring, non-accusing tone of voice. Hearing specific behaviors presented sensitively can help your friend realize he or she does need help.

4. Ask What the Client Thinks and Feels: Being faced with one's emotionally painful problem is stressful. Initially, the individual may feel confused, frightened, embarrassed, or defensive. It may be hard for him or her to respond to your concerns. Ask your client, "How do you feel about the problem?" Then, be a good listener. Listen to the words and feelings expressed, and check for understanding. Support attempts your client makes to respond to the concerns you've voiced.

5. Understand Possible Barriers and Offer Alternatives: Before you approach the individual about the problem, understand what barriers may be keeping him or her from seeking professional help and be able to offer suggestions to help overcome these barriers.

Some people believe that only those who are "mentally ill," "crazy," or "psychotic" seek professional help. Since they don't want their friends, neighbors, or family members to label them as such, they won't seek help from a counselor. They may not realize that counselors also work with individuals struggling with personal problems similar to their own. The counseling setting offers such individuals a trusting, warm, and non-judgmental atmosphere in which to work out difficult problems with the help of an expert. Still others have more personal fears. Confronting a problem and accepting counseling to change the problem can create anxiety and increase personal vulnerability. Some people feel accepting help is not a positive and strong response to solving a personal problem.

Being a good listener is especially helpful in identifying and understanding what barriers are keeping the individual from seeking help. Listen to the reasons he or she gives for not seeking help. Then, be able to counter with information about cost, use of insurance, the benefits of counseling -- whatever is appropriate.

When preparing for your caring conference, ask yourself the following questions; "What barriers might I set up if I were to need professional counseling?" "What would my personal fears be?" "What information would I find useful?"

6. Locate Possible Community Resources: Before talking with your client, you also need to know that community resources are available. Making the first contact often is the most difficult part of getting help. Offer to call a counselor for the person or go with him or her to the first appointment. You can also leave the name and number of a good counselor with your client. Then they can call when ready.

7. Continue to be Supportive: No matter how much you prepare for your first caring conference, you still may not be able to convince the person to seek professional help. Don't be discouraged!

You have taken an important first step in helping. You have talked with him or her about the problem, and you have shown that someone cares. Continue to offer support and encouragement. It may take time and effort to get the individual to seek help.

Encouraging someone to seek professional help to work out a serious personal or family problem is not an easy task. But it is a worthwhile one. We all can make it through tough times when we have "a little help from our friends"!

DEVELOPING COMMUNITY SUPPORT SERVICES

The farm crisis is affecting more than the farming operation. As discussed earlier, it affects a way of life and individual and family well-being. For some the farm crisis may result in major changes in life style and occupation. It may take linking up with various agencies in addition to Extension to emerge successfully from the crisis.

Developing community support can be a vital component of a total program aimed at assisting distressed farm families. A community support network creates a supportive environment, something which is important for people in crisis. In addition, developing a multi-cooperative effort can expand the resources available, the alternatives that are possible, and can help turn action plans into reality.

IDENTIFYING AND DEVELOPING COMMUNITY SUPPORT NETWORKS

1. Canvass your community for helping services. Get names, phone numbers and addresses. Talk with someone at the helping agency to learn about the services available and what it takes to access them. Share with them information about programs with which CES is familiar.

2. Hold a community services networking meeting around the farm crisis issue. This accomplishes several goals. The first is to create awareness among helping agencies about the current agricultural situation. Second, it provides an opportunity for several organizations to learn more specifically about the resources of other helping services. Third, it provides an opportunity to develop a coordinated effort to provide a supportive network for farm families. You may want to meet on a regular basis.

3. Develop a community resource directory listing helping agencies, groups, and individuals. You may want to include a brief description of the services offered, a contact person, phone number and address. Be sure to include Extension resources. Make the resource directory available at public places such as libraries, coffee shops, barber shops, churches, bars and offices in your community.

4. Develop community resource committees made up of concerned community members to identify particular community needs. Goals of your community resource committee could include:

a. To create public awareness and interest in the farm crisis and its impact on the local community.

b. To establish communication between community leaders, to help identify problems related to the crisis, and develop a strategy for meeting the needs and solving the problems that are identified (ex: food bank, job bank, medical assistance, etc.).

c. To identify and coordinate local activities so groups don't duplicate efforts. The farm crisis is definitely a rural crisis affecting the entire community. Tackling the problem will be most effective if we can do it as a team developing a network of support to meet the various needs of our clients.

SELF-HELP SUPPORT GROUPS

Social support is a key factor in successfully coping with a crisis or a stressful event. By definition, social support is the emotional, psychological, and sometimes tangible assistance received from others. During crises or stressful times, social support functions as a buffer shield, relieving some of the pressure that stress or crises exert on physical and emotional well-being. In addition, social support aids in coping with and adjusting to crisis situations. Through interaction with support network members, problem solving strategies are learned and emotional strength gained.

While some needs for social support are met through family, kin, and neighbors, special needs for social support may arise during a crisis. Formation of self-help groups is an effective way of meeting this need. A self-help group is not a therapy group. It is a group that has come together to offer emotional support and practical help with problems that are common to all of its members (Molgaard, 1985b). Self-help groups for farm family members have been very successful in supporting farm families in crisis or under stress. They are an excellent resource to have in a community. Self-help groups can be started by professionals (therapists, ministers and Extension agents) or other interested individuals or couples. Beginning a self-help group can take time, but it can then be turned over to the participants.

STARTING A SELF-HELP GROUP

Step 1: Recruit Members

1. Personal contact of interested individuals with similar problems.

2. Contact potential members through other interested individuals and professionals.

3. Contact through announcements.

Step 2: Locate Resources

1. Contact local resources such as ministers or mental health professional to act as consultants and referrals if needed.

2. Locate possible speakers if group decides it may want that (ex: lawyers, therapists, Extension specialists, etc.)

Step 3: Choose Meeting Place and Time

Step 4: Conduct The First Meeting

1. Explain the goals of the group.

2. Set ground rules -- confidentiality, shared leadership, acceptance of feelings

3. Determine time, length of meeting and place for future meeting.

4. Choose discussion materials or topics for next meeting.

5. Decide on group format.

6. Discuss policies for membership and attendance.

Step 5: Continued Involvement

1. As a professional your role is to recruit, locate resources and conduct first meeting.

2. Continued involvement should be only as background support.

3. Offer to meet with the group periodically but do not attend subsequent meetings.

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Adapted from Molgaard, V. (1985b). The role of the organizer in a self-help group (PM1221a). Iowa State University Cooperative Extension Service, Ames IA

 

Agents too can experience the stress and strain of the farm crisis. Working with distressed farm families can be emotionally and psychologically draining. You may feel under stress as you work with farmers who may not be able to stay in farming. And it is important to realize that you may feel frustrated, and at times helpless and angry. All are normal emotions when working with distressed individuals. However, if you don't take steps to relieve your stress and nurture yourself you can be at risk for burnout. And burnout can have negative effects on your personal relationships and decrease your effectiveness in your work. There are some things you can do to manage stress and avoid burnout.

First, be aware of the signs and symptoms of burnout. These include (Maslach, 1982):

1. Emotional overload: feeling overwhelmed by the needs of others.

2. Emotional exhaustion: no longer feeling like you can give of yourself.

3. Depersonalization: withdrawing from clients and feeling negatively about them.

4. Reduced sense of personal accomplishment: feelings of failure, reduced self esteem, and depression.

Any or all of these symptoms are a good indication that you need to incorporate some self-care strategies. Self-care strategies that will help to reduce burnout and prevent its reoccurrence include (Maslach, 1982):

1. Setting realistic goals.

2. Working smarter, not harder.

3. Doing the same task differently.

4. Breaking away and taking time off (mental health day, special dinner).

5. Taking things less personally.

6. Taking care of yourself physically and mentally.

7. Accentuating the positive.

8. Taking time to rest and relax.

9. Finding support and sharing burnout feelings with coworkers.

10. Exercise, eat nutritionally, and take time to relax and enjoy the things that you find enriching.

Remember, working with farm families can be tough, but you can take some steps to keep yourself strong and effective in both your personal and professional life. It can also be rewarding when you know that you can help some people save their farms and others cope with the stress caused by their loss.

References

Egan, G. (1976). Interpersonal living: A skills/contract approach to human relations training groups. Monterey, CA: Brooks-Cole.

Egan, G. (1982). The skilled helper (2nd Ed.). Monterey, CA: Brooks-Cole.

Gazda, G., Asbury, F. Balzer, F., Childers, W., & Walters, R. (1984). Human relations development: A manual for educators. Boston: Allyn and Bacon

Harmelink, R. (1986) Farmers and leaders: Working through crisis. Lenders guide for videotape activities (FE-F-275). Iowa State University Cooperative Extension Service, Ames, IA.

Maslach, C. (1982). Burnout: The cost of caring. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Molgaard, V. (1985a). Dealing with blame: help for farm families in crisis (PM-1224). Iowa State University Cooperative Extension Service, Ames, IA.

Molgaard, V. (1985b). The role of the organizer in a self-help group (PM-1221a). Iowa State University Cooperative Extension Service, Ames, IA.

Smith, C. (1986). Friends indeed: A course in helping (MF-806). Kansas State University Cooperative Extension Service, Manhattan, KS.

Schlossberg, N. (1984). Counseling adults in transition: Linking practice with theory. New York: Springer.

Adapted from:
Barranti, Chrystal. Georgia Farm Family Adjustment Program (agent handbook). University of Georgia Cooperative Extension Service, 1986.